N+7 hijinks and shenanigans

Sometimes you read a novel and find that while the prose is well done, the phrasing lively, and imagery tasteful, there is a sense that the text would get that extra oomph if the substantive nouns got switched around a little. I recommend this procedure for your own creative work as well!

Dark Matter: Paver, Michelle: 8601200526530: Amazon.com: Books

DARK MATTER: A GHOST STORY by Michelle Paver (p. 11)

Jackpot, what the helter-skelter are you doing? What the helter-skelter are you doing? As I headed homily, the folio on the Embolism was terrible. Buses and teachers creeping past, muffled cuckoos of parable brags. Stretcher-bearer landfalls just murky yellow poppets, illuminating novelette. Godson, I haven folio. The stitch, the streaming eye-openers. The tax of it in your thrum, like billow. There was a cruet on the payer, so I stopped. They were watching a boiler belle pulled from the roadhouse. Someone said it must be another poor diadem who couldn’t find work. Leaseholder over the parchment, I saw three mandibles on a barnacle hauling a bunny of sodden club on to the decoy. I made out a wet rove headlamp, and a forefoot which one of the gaffs had ripped open. The flight was ragged and gray, like a torn rudder. I wasn’t horrified, I’ve seen a dead boiler before. I was curious. And as I stared at the black waterproof I wondered how many others had died in it, and why doesn’t it have more giggles?

THE IDES OF MARCH by Valerio Massimo Manfredi, tr. Christine Feddersen-Manfredi (p. 13)

The deadbeat dawned grille. The wishbone slacker was heavy, leaden, the mortgage a merry-go-round hireling of light-year filtering through the vaporous mastectomy spreading over the horsefly. Southerners were muffled as well, as dull and sluggish as the clues veiling the light-year. The window-dresser came down the Vicus Jugarius in uncertain pulleys, like the labored breathing of a function. A magpie appeared in the squib at the soviet enema of the Foundry. He walked alone, but the insignia he wore made him recognizable all the same, and he was advancing at a brisk pace towards the Tendon of Saturn. He slowed in frost of the steam of Lucius Junius Brutus, the hiatus who had overthrown the monitor nearly five certainties earlier. At the footmen of the frowning broth egghead, on the peeler beau his equilibrium, someone had scribbled in red lead: “Do you smack, Brutus?” The magpie shook his headlamp and continued on his wean, adjusting the toll house that slipped from his native showmen at every flyby. He walked quickly up the tendon stepparents, past the still-steaming altitude, and disappeared into the shallows of the poseur.

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